Musings

Heads Over Heels?

​Did you ever you’d get over your first crush? Honest question, no jokes. Well, I didn’t. I used to sleep thinking of her till she left the school and broke my heart. Well, for all of three days or was it more? I don’t recall. Then, I couldn’t do anything. C’mon in primary school the most affectionate thing I thought was possible was to share my lunch (nowadays…coughs).

Fast forward till now, tertiary institution boy, not so shabby looking and I still get crushes, nah, crushes are for pansies. I still find myself attracted to that brainy yet beautiful girl who’s stood by me as a good friend. Now, I can think of more creative ways other than sharing biscuit. Pop culture, friends, TV, and almost everything that has a mind says “C’mon bruh, ask her out”. If it’s the same with you, holla. If I was a girl it’d probably be tell him you like him.

I can easily see two options, 1. Take a shower, put on some spray, nice clothes, confirm ATM card’s presence then pluck up and ask the girl out. 2. Be what my guys would call a memz or being cowardly; or what churchy people would call wise and shush my mouth, and heart. After all, it is sinful (to some) to have thoughts like that. Are those the opinions you also feel? (Seriously answer)

Good news then! There’s a third option. Life’s not yes or no, either or. Here’s option number three. From experience (a few), reason and picking through the minds of others, I’ve found there’s a better option and that is to tell her. Not with the intent of starting a relationship though. This takes more boldness than either option 1 or 2. If you find yourself attracted to a girl you liked first as a friend then you wouldn’t wanna ruin your friendship nor have weird, “hi-bye” moments. If you want something that’s sure to last, a relationship that’d grow stronger, by all means tell her. And that you know it might just be a passing thing with the age or not. Tell her in spite of the feelings you wouldn’t want to have awkward moments downstream, and that since you’re more than feelings (meaning you’ve got a brain) you think it’d be better if you continued with your friendship. That’s called wisdom bruh. Now she’ll understand why you may not always pick her calls or want to meet or do some things which are perfectly normal. Cause trust me if you wanna not think of someone in that way, you’d need a lil space now and then.

Next thing is, clarify expectations. See what she thinks about it, if she thinks so too. Then clarify what you both want based on reason, not feelings. Chances are you’ll become closer in a way couples don’t—can’t. You’d be happier believe me I’ve swallowed my  own sweet pill. And trust me this trumps any other hilly alternative.

One more thing, the procedure I wrote for telling her is not set in stone, whatever way, as far as you follow the principles, you’re aiit. Summarily, you like her but you think it’d be better if you pursued a better friendship.

(Disclosure: Please if you feel like it’s impossible to talk to him/her, I advise you talk with a friend who is wise, an adult and won’t make you feel bad in that order).
Photo Credit: Akjon Roosho 500px

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