Musings

So Your Bestie’s A Babe (Or Guy)?

As a guy’s guy, I can tell you for free, sometimes we’re jerks. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be saying it like this but it’s often so. Don’t get me wrong, my hombres are some of the best out there, no toxic masculinity or excessive hard guy, hard guy. Nope, we’re your regular garden variety men (in making), someone says warrior-poets. Corny, yeah? Whatever. You’re allowed to be strong and sensitive.

However, it’s become quite common these days to have a girl whose best friend is a guy –and no I don’t mean those sorry guys that got friend zoned. I want to yarn about how you can handle opposite sex best friend relationships, I feel like I can with a bit of authority seeing as I’ve got a babe for a best friend.

These steps are also pretty cool for just being friends with the opposite sex without giving yourself heartbreak. I’ve used ‘em in different measures for about 15 odd years so you can trust it. I still dey learn o so feel free to add a couple in the comment box.

Nọmba Kan
You’ve got to realise opposite sex friendships can and do exist but they take more work than same sex friendships and largely depend on the two parties.

Lambar biyu
Speaking with the backing of years of research including one from the University of Wisconsin, it has been found that guys in these friendships tend to believe that the babe actually has more feelings for him than she lets on. Now, it is not as though these guys are feeling themselves or something, it’s just simply biology. Young man, while it’s not exactly your fault you think the girl likes you, you should also consider that your judgement might be cloudy and manage your expectations –especially when she wears that perfume. And babe, I know you think he knows your hug meant nothing and it’s all platonic and yeah he probably does deep down but trust me, he’ll get confused now and then, especially, at the early stages of your friendship. Try not to give misleading signs, and recognise his tendency to jump the gun, then apply wisdom.

Nọmba atọ
When you’re a kid, opposite sex friendships are a breeze, quite simple. It’s even easiest when in your university days. However, the more your friend gets involved in romantic relationships, and the more serious those get, the less y’all should hang alone. Not that you plan to hurt your boo or bae but things can get complicated, especially when either party is having a rocky time in their relationship, I’d advise meet in groups if you’ve really got to see.

Numéro quatre
Communicate. You need to understand each other. There’s this crazy thing I do once in a while, I clarify expectations with my female friends (not bestie though, she’s halfway married). The aim basically is to come to the same page on where you both see each other, so one person isn’t dating the other in their mind –na so friend zoning dey start. And if you’ve both developed suitable attractiveness and would like to take it up a notch to a relationship, God bless! I’ll say this though –you are not your feelings—all those whirlwind romance nonsense is nonsense, although it could happen, I believe it’s largely indiscipline, lack of self-control over your passions and Holly/Bollywood overdose. You can think a fine girl is really set and not feel inclined to make a move.

Lastly, don’t send the wrong messages when you’re together. To each other, you’re just friends and can’t imagine yourself with him and his big nose or her and her annoying chewing but others might not see it that way, it could do bad stuff with your actually rom-rom partner(or a potential) if there’s no proper communication/assurance. People have come to ask my best friend how she knows I’m not jealous of her relationship, especially since they’ve not seen me with any babe, don’t blame me, I’m a private person. It’s understanding, it’s avoiding sending the wrong message. Don’t send bestie goals updates/statuses where you’ll look like a wedding jotter every day, all day. Oh yeah, this one’s to ladies, if it’s possible abeg do not save his name as “Boo or LOML” or any of those cringe worthy stuff, or call him that sef. Complete wrong message alert, to him and really everyone just observing. I said that was the last thing but one more thing…. Be free, have fun. Don’t let these guidelines be chains, especially the last point. I’m very particular about what I post (about any girl in fact) so that people don’t start getting ideas and before the girl I’m really eyeing forgets me. Still, people don’t live your life, you do. Do you and take responsibility for your freedom. Stay fly ✌️

If you’ve got any questions about this or anything related to anything at all, use the comment box or contact us here. Also I highly recommend you read this article Can Men and Women Really Be Friends?

2 thoughts on “So Your Bestie’s A Babe (Or Guy)?”

  1. Okay, ermm this is actually detailed but in a case where the male best friend is supposedly catching feelings already and he’s bin hanging on a long time..the second party isn’t too about a relationship with him but everything he does is a pointer towards d relationship he wants, what can be a way out

    Like

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